Saturday, September 5, 2009

being grateful

how is one to be content? they say its to live ones life. what if you are already doing this and still.....life isn't what you thought it would be? how does one remain grateful? is it a pure choice? no feelings just do it? I am grateful for my job. I am grateful I have a place to live. I am grateful I have my Owen. I am grateful I have people who like me. I am grateful there are those that love me. I am grateful to not be in physical pain. I am grateful I can walk. I am grateful I have lost weight and feel better about my body. I am grateful I am learning pilates. I am grateful for my tomatoes and my first pot of soup. I am grateful I know what I feel. I am grateful for all of the children I know and love. I am gratefugrateful for my parents, my sister and my brother. For tanner and bitsy andy diger gracie noah penny for blue and rosie. and breck and the gym and laurie and molly and katie and lizzy.

Its hard o feel so alone and afraid of rejection or of myself or to be tired all the time. or the big unending will anyone really love me for the long term do i deserve to be loved do i believe yet that i deserve to be loved? have I stopped beating myself up or over analyzing or am i open am i confident enough.???? it seems to be my achelles heel.

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